Failed marriages don’t happen after the wedding but before we say “I do.” Knowing these seven mistakes can help you prepare better because marriage is the only life endeavor where certificates are issued at the beginning. If you want to learn a skill or course, you first get trained, take quizzes or tests, and then you are issued a certificate
NOT LEARNING ABOUT MARRIAGE TOGETHER
When you attend couples’ or singles’ conferences, 80% of the participants are women, leading to an increase in failed marriages. Whether you are a man or a woman, encourage your partner to attend these training sessions with you while you are still dating. This way, both of you can learn the ideologies necessary for building long-lasting relationships. After all, it takes two to enter into a marriage.
NOT GIVING ENOUGH TIME TO TALKING
Many dating couples focus on activities like outings, sex, window shopping, and partying, neglecting one of the most important aspects of human connection: talking and communication. By talking to each other, you learn the communication methods that work best for you, as each couple is different. What works for your sister, mother, or brother may not work for you.
NOT HAVING A FINANCIAL PLAN BEFORE THE WEDDING
It’s no secret that 2 out of 3 failed marriages are due to financial crises. Yet, this critical aspect of life is often overlooked. Many people plan for their wedding but not for their marriage. Ask them about their plans, and they’ll mention how many children they want, where they’ll live, or the items they own. However, financial planning goes deeper than that. Couples need to plan how many children to have, estimate the cost of raising them, identify income sources, and consider increasing their income or investments to achieve their desired lifestyle. Without a solid financial plan, money will be spent on irrelevant things, leading to resentment.
NOT DEFINING WHAT MARRIAGE MEANS TO YOU
Marriage means different things to different people, and assuming your definition matches your partner’s can lead to conflict. It’s crucial to sit down and discuss your perspectives to ensure compatibility. Use this time to address expectations, including how many children to have, boundaries for relatives, and family cultures you want to create in your home.
NOT CHOOSING THE RIGHT ROLE MODELS
Many marriages face difficulties because of the sources couples turn to for advice during conflicts. Friction is inevitable, but the quality of advice received at critical times can either restore or erode trust and harmony. Choose role models whose lives you admire. Avoid relying on social media for advice, as the personal lives of influencers are often unknown and their guidance may backfire. Instead, find a marriage mentor or couples whose relationships reflect what you aspire to have, and learn from their experiences.
NOT OPENLY DISCUSSING EXPECTATIONS
Unfulfilled expectations often lead to resentment and relationship breakdowns. Be open about your expectations for marriage. This is the time to discuss how the family will operate, including roles, responsibilities, and projects. Define what information can be shared publicly and establish limits and boundaries for external influence.
NEGLECTING CONTINUOUS LEARNING
No one knows everything, and as the world evolves, new challenges emerge. Couples must commit to continuous learning through training sessions, books, and programs designed for couples. Staying informed about changes in technology and social norms can help you address potential issues and maintain your bond. Continuous learning helps you renew your passion and strengthen your relationship daily
