Is it difficult for you to maintain relationships?
You are not alone. When we met for the first time, butterflies and sparks blazed hot in our stomachs, leading to heart longings. We wanted to spend more time together, but this phase doesn’t last because relationships move through stages—talking, getting to know each other, romance, dating, and ends with a make-or-break phase.
At the last stage, we see faults and begin wondering why and how we got attracted to one another or if we were blind.
No, we aren’t blind; it happens because hormones and excitements wind down, leading to self-consciousness and heightened scrutiny but we can learn to rekindle our love and keep the fire burning by learning intimacy.
Intimacy is the key to happily ever after but what is intimacy?
According to the Oxford Dictionary, intimacy is close familiarity or friendship.
Cambridge Dictionary: Intimacy is a situation in which you have a close friendship or sexual relationship with someone.
Do you think everyone knows how to develop intimacy?
Nope. While few people find it easy to connect with others, others need to learn how to build those relationships. Some of us form long-lasting relationships with ease, while for others, our longest relationships are less than a year.
We should also know that being married is not equal to a functional relationship. A lot are staying together couples and are not being together.
10 Intimacy Tips to Build a Stronger Relationship and Marriage
Tip 1. Make Time
We create time for what we value. If we don’t give time to our partners, they spend it on other things and, with time, out of sight, they become out of mind. So fix and plan date nights at least once a week or month and chat with each other multiple times in a day. It could be as simple as a good morning.
Tip 2. Be Intentional
At the beginning of our relationship, emotions move us to do certain things or act in certain ways, but that emotion will wind down. And our relationship overcomes difficulties by becoming intentional. Being intentional rekindles the fire and passion and makes our hearts flutter for each other because we will see each other as being reliable. This means you don’t feel like it, but will it make him or her happy? Then I will do it.
Tip 3. Touch more often (not sexual touching)
Touching releases oxytocin and other endocrine hormones that build emotional bonding. So hold hands, hug, cuddle, perk on the forehead and cheeks, and play with each other’s toes, fingers, and hair. Oh yeah, you can make that hair messy sometimes.
Tip 4. Spend Time on a project
Choose activities you can do together and go for it. It could be as simple as taking a walk in the park, volunteering at an NGO, learning a skill like crafting or cooking, or dancing together. By doing this, you get to spend time together, and you create positive energies and memories while achieving a milestone together.
Tip 5. Be involved in each other’s interests Don’t condemn what the other person likes.
Spend time with them while they enjoy their interest. This is another way to show your partner they can be free with you. It builds bonds and creates oneness, bridging the gap and preventing the illusion that we are too different.
Tip 6. Communicate your expectations
We are not spirits, so your partners can’t decipher what goes in your mind; Be creative when saying I want this, that, and that and being reasonable while making demands. This will prevent situations where he/she is ungrateful. I spent time and/or money to do this and that, and she/ he’s not appreciative. What you think they need may not be that important at the moment.
Tip 7. When you feel hurt, don’t speak immediately
When hurt, we would like to inflict the same pain on the person who caused us that pain, but that doesn’t solve the conflict. It only makes it worse. So, when hurt, pause for a few seconds before you speak. That way, you will communicate your feelings better and get the other person to even apologize.
Tip 8. Create exclusive cultures together
Create your relationship signature because doing things that every other person does with their partners makes it a cliche, but rare things have more value because we are humans. It could be a small exclusive pet name or a signature word code that only the two of you understand.
Tip 9. Learn to listen
Our partners sometimes just want to vent, not necessarily seek solutions. Please listen, don’t offer any advice. Touch them if you see they are in distress, hold them, hug them. Tell them, “You are amazing, you are beautiful, etc.” The moment you open your mouth to offer advice, you may end up being judgemental without even knowing it.
Tip 10. Learn to catch each other’s glances throughout the day
Remember how you steal glances at each other when you are in the honeymoon phase of your relationship? Continue stealing those glances and sometimes let your partner catch you doing that. Being caught has its magical flare.
